"Associative Looseness"

The things I had hoped for, wished for and prayed for.
Came to me in a dream, only in my dreams did I feel it’s’ presence.
The satisfaction one would get when finding a lost coin,
Or perhaps when finding the right direction,
When stuck in a forked road towards oblivion.

I wake up and my tears have dried already.
It seems I spent the better half of my night dreaming,
And the other half weeping.
For what I have that never had.
For what I lost but never really owned.

And it’s elusive…everything is just elusive…
Failure is not an option, a choice, or a preference by chance.
It happens… and it happens a lot… to me.

Love, success, acceptance and happiness,
By-products of an imagination available to those who dare,
To invest, to sow, to take a risk on people and life;
And still be brave enough to pick the leftovers of the night;
Once more taking the path down the lanes of misery.

But it’s elusive… everything is just elusive.
Failures take its toll and passivity wins its place;
In the front line of reality losers do lose
And victors trample the rubble that is your spirit.

Once I walked down an unfamiliar path
        winding road and blinding light
People dressed in black and white
        and we are the creatures of the night
I said No -- never shall I stay dark
        I will move on to a brighter land
Each person becoming closer to me
        sympathize with reality
I know I can detach myself away from them
        then fly back to never never land
But then-- lightning strikes
        we shared something I I could've never
                imagined -- with you.
Passionate desires inflames my soul
        my heart beating fast
Yet… we are creatures of the underworld
        uncertainties awaits us
Doubts afloat
                could I ever keep you?

10/30/02

I am here, here alone in this space
Remembering, how you turned up my world
glistening diamond you are such
beautiful.
Waiting, I stand by for eternity
feeling your breath on me once more
I succumb to these dark desires
and I long for more.
My heart, races along with my hand
in describing how I tremble
electricity striking my every vein
dampness of my hands showing
I desire not to feel desire for you
but to just hold and caress you
Definitions -- terms are insignificant
my mind understands my heart
Lights flowing down there,
cars screeching nearby
people following each other's footsteps
How far have we gone?
reflections mirroring myself
I see a girl lost -- lost in a world of lies
where the truth is non-existent -- or is it?

Oct. 2, 2002

nais kong lumipad at magkaroon ng pakpak
ilayo ka sa lugar kung saan ka maaaring mapahamak
ang mundo ay malupit, alam nating lahat
ngunit bakit kinakailangang maramadaman mo ang takot ngayon?
kung saan ang lahat ay tila alapaap
sa piling mo ako ay nangangarap
na sana habang buhay ikaw ang kayakap
ngunit, takot ang sumisiil
nanaghoy sa aking kaibuturan
kung maaari lang sana na ikaw ay bantayan
sa lahat ng oras, lahat ng panahon
upang kahit daplis ng takot
ay hindi mo maramdaman
magpakatatag ka, tibayan mo ang iyong sarili
may awa ang Maykapal
gagabayan Niya ang mga nagmamahal
wala ako magawa
kaya sa Kanya kita iniaasa
na lagi ay iligtas ka
huwag kang pababayaan,
sampu ng iyong pamilya
ngunit kung isang araw makaligtaan Niya
nais kong malaman mo
hihilingin kong gawin Niya akong anghel
upang sa gayon ikaw ay mabuhay
manatili sa lupa
mundong mapaglaro sa tadhana
hindi ka na mababahala
iingatan kita, hanggang kailan man...

i feel your heart beating fast

i hear you breathe on my hair

i grasp your being with me

your tenderness and softness

you are a wonder to my eyes

i never thought i could find

my soul had wandered far from here

yet, i found you near


here


inside


my heart

We started speaking,
Looked at each other, then turned away.
The tears kept rising to my eyes.
But I could not weep.
I wanted to take your hand
But my hand trembled.
You kept counting the days
Before we should meet again.
But both of us felt in our hearts
That we parted for ever and ever.
The ticking of the little clock filled the quiet room.
"Listen," I said. "It is so loud,
Like a horse galloping on a lonely road,
As loud as a horse galloping past in the night."
You shut me up in your arms.
But the sound of the clock stifled our hearts' beating.
You said, "I cannot go: all that is living of me
Is here for ever and ever."
Then you went.
The world changed. The sound of the clock grew fainter,
Dwindled away, became a minute thing.
I whispered in the darkness. "If it stops, I shall die."

Yearning to live through it all
That one day I will live and fallIn your arms
I shall lay
In your presence I shall breathe
In your love I shall live
Never thought such a feeling
Unrewarded by honesty and faith
Goodness nips my veins
Glad, I hear myself whisper
Contented, I felt my body sigh
Visions of you sinful being
So powerfully deceiving
My blood jumps out of my mind
My eyes intensely fixed to yours
Memorizing each silhouette of your face
My hands caressing your tenderness
My lips touching skillfully your wholeness
I demand nothing from you
I ask only for your grace
Let me love you my own way…

in the stillness of the night, i can hear you breathing
amidst the roaring of the a/c i can feel your heart beating
... slowly...
reminding me of the angel sleeping in my arms (yes, you are real)
... i cud see your smiling face in the dark (faint glow of the dancing candles
reveals your elegance)
... i was filled with great delight, with your presence (lingering
... as still as the stars in the night.
... hence, these sheets...
covering our nakedness from the four corners of the room
wrapping ecstacy with every part of it
a sole witness (except for the pillows, the candles, the hissing a/c)

... of one night's eternal bliss...


*safriati & psyche23 *

A thing called reality hit me hard on the head last night
that bolted doors with keys and lock does not suffice
to hide the person that is truly inside.

Blogging Blogging
That's all i've been doing
Nothing really matters
Just the words that i utter
and transform into a wonder
ful piece of s**t
And then read it again
and again
and then i get sore
and then hate it
and then delete it.
That's it.

Quickly hide from the treacherous hound
Of a man who howls looking for its next prey
Abandon stance of hope for the futility of action
Run like a sprinter for salvation.

Kept within the hollows of those wretched souls
He slumbers feeding in every thought
Of desire, misery, dejected love and desolation
That makes yearning for eternal isolation.

Tears flowing through cheeks of red
Gasping between life and death
Nourishes his repugnant existence
Enlarging this bastard by inches!

Dare not a thought of him remain
In your heart and in your brain
There will never be a thing regain
If fallen with this bastard again!

I know no bounds
Maker of everything
Exquisite and
Eccentric

Caricatures And Realizations, Inept, Attune, Ghastly Associative looseness.

The scorching heat of the sun
dries the sweat at his nape
yet drops of it still come
from the sides of his face


He turned around, chest exposed
the invisibility of torture unseen
marks of a whipping drapes his soul
thick black liquid surrounds him

the unshaven face bears no resemblance
to the man he was once
he clings onto the blade of ignorance
praying for a chance

the once strong body now lay wasted
eyes wide shut
his kisses bears an air of coldness
turning skin...to ashes.

The teddy bear you're holding,
smells like sweet perfume...
like the man in my arms,
cuddly, huggable, and kissable.
The wild bears in contrast,
longs to rip your flesh apart,
like the man in my arms
who left and tore my heart.

Click Published at Poetry.Com
Search for me :)

Copyright ©2007 ILC

Articulating the aspects of life
dormant from feelings of an earthly creature
Whispering each wor with a voice
as shrill as the morning echo of a crow

Flying through the fields of brazen desert and narcissistic pain
He comes,
clothed with anguish
Blood of hopelessness
dripping from his effervescent cheek
He looked at me…
those eyes…
Fierce, pitiful, beautiful.

Will always remain in my thoughts.

January 17, 2004

There in the place where our love has started
A place so beautifully crafted by our hearts
There in that place I shall stay enchanted
Mesmerized by your wonderful charms

In that place I have found your world
A world so different yet familiar and bizaare
I let go of myself, and let my heart astray
Destined to be found only by you.

Here in our world our souls unite,
Fires ablaze hearts beating as one
Passionate music dancing in the air
A wonderful journey has begun…

April-17-04

Redeem me, my brave warrior
Amidst the marshes of death and towers of fear
Run to me with all your might
Shield me with your love.

Beneath your sole you’ll see my face
Etched at the very core of you
And with your armor you’ll come prepared
For the battle of the living

And draw your sword, give me your life
Fight until your last breath
Till the sun starts to rise from the west
Till all you have to battle is yourself

Imagine me, a waterlily lost in the ocean of san
Life slowly dripping away
It’s petals withering craving for thirst
Imagine me, in your grasp

Go and with your steed be the knight
Of love and grace, and of might
Encage not a memory in your mind
Set me free to soar the skies…

March 5, 2004

Lay down, beneath the pale moonlight
In my arms surrender,
Give me all your might
Quench my soul’s thirst
For the blood of your spirit colliding with mine.
Set me free, free from this pain that’s haunting me.

Let me in, take my hand across the shores
Carry me, my body’s weary from all the troubles,
Heal the wounds that scars my soul
With your love, with your fascinating light.

Look into my eyes, tired irises looking back
What do you see?
A girl who has nothing to hide.
Touch my skin, pale shadow of indigo
My pain visible for the world.

Hold me, spread your warmth in me
Hold me closer, stop my shivering body
Comfort me, your love is my solace
Love me, and never again let go…