"Associative Looseness"

The things I had hoped for, wished for and prayed for.
Came to me in a dream, only in my dreams did I feel it’s’ presence.
The satisfaction one would get when finding a lost coin,
Or perhaps when finding the right direction,
When stuck in a forked road towards oblivion.

I wake up and my tears have dried already.
It seems I spent the better half of my night dreaming,
And the other half weeping.
For what I have that never had.
For what I lost but never really owned.

And it’s elusive…everything is just elusive…
Failure is not an option, a choice, or a preference by chance.
It happens… and it happens a lot… to me.

Love, success, acceptance and happiness,
By-products of an imagination available to those who dare,
To invest, to sow, to take a risk on people and life;
And still be brave enough to pick the leftovers of the night;
Once more taking the path down the lanes of misery.

But it’s elusive… everything is just elusive.
Failures take its toll and passivity wins its place;
In the front line of reality losers do lose
And victors trample the rubble that is your spirit.