"Associative Looseness"

For two nights I have been taking care of my niece because my brother and his wife went to Boracay for a vacation. Nice, the first time; exciting and scary; then it became tiresome; she would wake up every two hours while I'm still in the process of pre-REM. I need to tap her legs and hum a soft lullabye to lull her back to sleep. Then the witching hour  2-4 am. She would wake up, and fall asleep again. But she's still sleepy, so she would fuss, and I don’t know how to get her to sleep again. Eventually my mom heard her cries and came up to her, or my, rescue. After that, it's my mom's problem na. But she's so cute. And she would smile in her sleep. And she would giggle and laugh without any apparent reason - she's only 2 months old.

Add my stress regarding the screenplay. I worked myself out trying to come up with an interesting synopsis. Which I hope I did. And contacting people just to force them to read my script and comment because there might be a possibility of you know…

Anyways, now I am starting to revise my script over and over again. Before it's only 10 pages; it became 30 pages; now I'm running on 50. It's supposed to be a SHORT FILM! Waaaahhhh!!! Now, I think I am making a feature film screenplay. The mystery gone; the argument of art film gone; the play of words and colors and cinematic shots gone; my goal ala-wong -kar wai cinematography, still achievable… ah, basta.

I'm exhausted. Pagod na ko. But I'm liking it.

I feel so alive.

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When life hands you lemons, go buy Tequila! Inuman na! Adja! Adja!